Again, I am incredibly sorry and my heart is with you and your family.
But I am also floored by your writing and your ability to eloquently express yourself in such a captivating way (especially during a time like this). If you’re not writing a book already, that’s the path you need to take. Please it’s needed more than ever as AI erodes human expression.
Christina, first may you and your family be well. Second, this was an extremely vulnerable post. Thank you for sharing this. I've been in your husband's shoes twice. Once, when I'd just gotten engaged and move in with my now, wife. Second time was the very next company, after my daughter turned 2 years old. I was the good guy. Loyal, good earner, team player. Didn't matter.
No one talks about job loss from a grieving standpoint but that does play a big role. But your family will make it through this and on the other side there is more happiness. Wishing you and your family the best. Keep us posted!
I don’t have anything eloquent really (apologies in advance for the word vomit) except to say that layoffs are awful and I’m so sorry; I wish that jobs in America weren’t designed like this, because it doesn’t have to be this way and in the U.S. layoffs are an extra and uniquely awful/destabilizing experience. In Germany (I’m American but moved here 7 years ago), for layoffs they have to give you at least a 3 month notice usually, and I think there are also mandatory payouts, which often get negotiated significantly higher. There’s lots of documentation needed to even do a layoff, and even family situations get taken into account (don’t know the exact details but likely someone young/single would get laid off more easily or before someone supporting a family). You can’t get the rug pulled out from under you basically; the workers are the protected ones here and not the companies. Obviously prioritizing stability has some tradeoffs, but my European colleagues are always so shocked when I explain how it works in the U.S.
And your husband’s view on work is the normal, and also valued/expected one here. Even when I’ve had previous managers that bordered on workaholic, they’ve always been very clear that it was their choice to work like that and although appreciated it was definitely not expected from me to go above and beyond (I’m quite similar to you)
I’m so sorry and thank you so much for sharing Christina. It couldn’t have been easy posting but you walked us through every emotion you were feeling that day like you would to a friend.
I hope he finds something wayyyy better than what he’s leaving behind.
I have to echo Victoria's sentiment. I was laid off in July via a cattle-call Google Meet, and it was a traumatic experience. I am sending you and your family so much love. Also, I just have to tell you what an incredible writer you are, and thank you for sharing this vulnerable story that thousands of people relate deeply to.
Steadfast, calm, grounded people are rare and desperately needed in a functioning business, and I am hoping that a better company recognizes those qualities in your husband instantaneously
Christina, I'm so sorry! I'm grateful to know that you have such an amazing team by your side to encourage you and uplift you during this time, although I know that might not feel like quite enough. Sending love to you all
I'm sorry this happened to him - and to you. Not because he did anything wrong - he didn't. He held up his end. They're the ones who broke the contract.
But here's the thing nobody tells you until it's too late: loyalty is not a mutual obligation in modern employment. It's a trap.
He gave them steadiness. They gave him "restructuring."
He gave them five years. They gave him five weeks.
He trusted the system. The system was designed to extract his labor while owing him nothing.
This isn't his failure. This is the system working exactly as intended.
The companies that demand loyalty don't return it. They can't. Loyalty to employees doesn't show up on a quarterly earnings report, exec bonuses or increases in share price. His steadiness made him reliable - which made him easy to take for granted. His contentment made him stay - which meant they never had to compete to keep him.
And when the spreadsheet said "cut costs," his five years of dedication meant nothing. Because he was never a person to them. He was a line item.
What comes next:
Give him space to mourn the betrayal. It's real. The anger is justified.
But when he's ready: he needs to stop giving his loyalty to institutions that are structurally incapable of returning it. Save that loyalty for people - you, his family, his friends, himself.
The next job? It's a transaction. He trades time and skill for money. Nothing more. They're not his family. They're a counterparty who will end the arrangement the moment it serves them.
Show up. Do good work. Get paid. And the second a better offer appears, take it without guilt.
Sorry to hear this — and on the day after a long weekend was the cherry on top of a shit sundae.
He absolutely should fight for more severance pay; only five weeks for five years is such bullshit. Ask to keep his laptop too (if it’s worth keeping). Get as much as he can out of them.
I’m so sorry, Christina. This emotion in your writing made my chest tighten. If there's anyway I can help / if you need to talk, I'm just a message away.
Sorry to hear this and I’m here to help anyway I can. Been in 2 back to back layoffs, let me know if he ever wants to chat. Same goes with you! If a role he’s interested in Sprout, I’ll put in a referral tomorrow just say the word. Here for yall 🙏🏼❤️
Again, I am incredibly sorry and my heart is with you and your family.
But I am also floored by your writing and your ability to eloquently express yourself in such a captivating way (especially during a time like this). If you’re not writing a book already, that’s the path you need to take. Please it’s needed more than ever as AI erodes human expression.
I’m so sorry. Here if you need to talk.
Appreciate you so much!
Christina, first may you and your family be well. Second, this was an extremely vulnerable post. Thank you for sharing this. I've been in your husband's shoes twice. Once, when I'd just gotten engaged and move in with my now, wife. Second time was the very next company, after my daughter turned 2 years old. I was the good guy. Loyal, good earner, team player. Didn't matter.
No one talks about job loss from a grieving standpoint but that does play a big role. But your family will make it through this and on the other side there is more happiness. Wishing you and your family the best. Keep us posted!
I don’t have anything eloquent really (apologies in advance for the word vomit) except to say that layoffs are awful and I’m so sorry; I wish that jobs in America weren’t designed like this, because it doesn’t have to be this way and in the U.S. layoffs are an extra and uniquely awful/destabilizing experience. In Germany (I’m American but moved here 7 years ago), for layoffs they have to give you at least a 3 month notice usually, and I think there are also mandatory payouts, which often get negotiated significantly higher. There’s lots of documentation needed to even do a layoff, and even family situations get taken into account (don’t know the exact details but likely someone young/single would get laid off more easily or before someone supporting a family). You can’t get the rug pulled out from under you basically; the workers are the protected ones here and not the companies. Obviously prioritizing stability has some tradeoffs, but my European colleagues are always so shocked when I explain how it works in the U.S.
And your husband’s view on work is the normal, and also valued/expected one here. Even when I’ve had previous managers that bordered on workaholic, they’ve always been very clear that it was their choice to work like that and although appreciated it was definitely not expected from me to go above and beyond (I’m quite similar to you)
I’m so sorry Christina! We’re all here for you. First time reading and you are a wonderful writer- been a long time linked in fan
this sucks, I'm sorry
I’m so sorry and thank you so much for sharing Christina. It couldn’t have been easy posting but you walked us through every emotion you were feeling that day like you would to a friend.
I hope he finds something wayyyy better than what he’s leaving behind.
I have to echo Victoria's sentiment. I was laid off in July via a cattle-call Google Meet, and it was a traumatic experience. I am sending you and your family so much love. Also, I just have to tell you what an incredible writer you are, and thank you for sharing this vulnerable story that thousands of people relate deeply to.
Steadfast, calm, grounded people are rare and desperately needed in a functioning business, and I am hoping that a better company recognizes those qualities in your husband instantaneously
Christina, I'm so sorry! I'm grateful to know that you have such an amazing team by your side to encourage you and uplift you during this time, although I know that might not feel like quite enough. Sending love to you all
I'm sorry this happened to him - and to you. Not because he did anything wrong - he didn't. He held up his end. They're the ones who broke the contract.
But here's the thing nobody tells you until it's too late: loyalty is not a mutual obligation in modern employment. It's a trap.
He gave them steadiness. They gave him "restructuring."
He gave them five years. They gave him five weeks.
He trusted the system. The system was designed to extract his labor while owing him nothing.
This isn't his failure. This is the system working exactly as intended.
The companies that demand loyalty don't return it. They can't. Loyalty to employees doesn't show up on a quarterly earnings report, exec bonuses or increases in share price. His steadiness made him reliable - which made him easy to take for granted. His contentment made him stay - which meant they never had to compete to keep him.
And when the spreadsheet said "cut costs," his five years of dedication meant nothing. Because he was never a person to them. He was a line item.
What comes next:
Give him space to mourn the betrayal. It's real. The anger is justified.
But when he's ready: he needs to stop giving his loyalty to institutions that are structurally incapable of returning it. Save that loyalty for people - you, his family, his friends, himself.
The next job? It's a transaction. He trades time and skill for money. Nothing more. They're not his family. They're a counterparty who will end the arrangement the moment it serves them.
Show up. Do good work. Get paid. And the second a better offer appears, take it without guilt.
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry to hear this. Here to help if I can—glad to keep an eye out on LI. Sending you huge hugs. 🤍
Sorry to hear this — and on the day after a long weekend was the cherry on top of a shit sundae.
He absolutely should fight for more severance pay; only five weeks for five years is such bullshit. Ask to keep his laptop too (if it’s worth keeping). Get as much as he can out of them.
Here to support you any way I can!
I’m so sorry, Christina. This emotion in your writing made my chest tighten. If there's anyway I can help / if you need to talk, I'm just a message away.
Sorry to hear this and I’m here to help anyway I can. Been in 2 back to back layoffs, let me know if he ever wants to chat. Same goes with you! If a role he’s interested in Sprout, I’ll put in a referral tomorrow just say the word. Here for yall 🙏🏼❤️